It’s 7pm. Which best describes your world?

1. Your cranky 1-year old is in your arms while you rock/sing/tear your hair out waiting for him to drop off
2. Your cranky 1 year old is protesting in his crib; after 10 minutes he is now peacefully adrift in sleep

If your world sounds more like #2, chances are you have been regularly working on some form of sleep training. It’s unfortunate that the idea of sleep training has a bad rap in some circles, but I can see why. Its very name, along with another common term “crying it out”, both sound draconian and heartless. But trust me: it’s neither.

I have worked with many moms who initially reacted negatively to the idea, until we worked through what sleep training is and isn’t. In my opinion, sleep training really needs a good PR campaign to counteract the misinformation and misconceptions out there, because there are many documented benefits:

• Research done by Van Ijzendoorn M. H.; Hubbard F. O. A. found that: “Contrary to our expectations, the more frequently mothers ignored
  their infants’ crying bouts in the first nine-week period, the less
  frequently their infants cried in the following nine-week period, even
  if intervening variables like earlier crying and synchronous
  responsiveness were controlled for. ‘Benign neglect’ of fussing may
  stimulate the emergent abilities in infants to cope with mild
  distress.”
• Parents who sleep train their children, usually see improvements in their own stress levels, mood, and interactions with their children: “Following treatment, only positive side effects were observed. When compared to the wait-list group, mothers in the standard ignoring group reported less verbose discipline and decreased stress in parenting, while mothers in the graduated ignoring group reported improved parent/child relationships. Treatment gains were maintained over a 2-month follow-up period.” Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology

Most importantly, sleep training develops your baby’s ability to self-soothe. Self-soothing promotes independence, self-confidence even into adulthood (see study below on addiction)

From my experience, sleep training your infant as soon as possible is the way to go.  I like to have infants I work with sleep trained by the end of 3 months or early into the 4th month I like this time because most infants still enjoy being swaddled, which helps to soothe the child by adding the physical sensation of being held while falling asleep.

I usually begin with nap time as this is easier for me to gauge an infant’s response and determine if the time is actually right to begin sleep training. It also helps to take away some of the experience of stress a infant might exhibit before moving onto nighttime training with their parents, making it easier on both infants and parents.

It’s important to know that in no way are you harming your child. During a “crying it out” moment, your child is generally crying for two reasons:

1. She does not know how to self-soothe herself yet.
2. She is protesting the change through the only way she knows how.

The only way self-soothing can be learned is through crying it out, but it is such an important step, as self soothing is an important key factor in your child’s emotional health.  The ability to self soothe stays with your child into adulthood, as it can act as a defense against substance abuse, eating disorders, and many other compulsive disorders (Superbaby, Dr. Jenn Bermann).  Keep in mind that throughout this process, consistency is key and although hearing your child’s cries can be difficult, it is a necessary step.

So how do you know you and your baby are ready for sleep training?

1. Is your baby older than 3 months?
2. Is your baby no longer waking at night to feed?
3. Does your baby have a regular sleep routine/schedule?
4. Is your child free of any medical conditions that can affect his sleep?

If you answered  “yes” to the questions above, you are ready for this important milestone in your family’s life. See my post on sleep training 101 on what to do next!