One thing is for sure, toddlers get sick quite often. By quite often, I mean A LOT! The little one I care for has been sick every month since September. When they get their fevers, coughs, the pukes it breaks my heart and I have to fight the urge to take them to the Doctor for every sneeze, ache, and tear. I wanted to give some advice on when to take your child to the Doctor and also some great homemade remedies that seem to help the little ones. While, I’m not a Doctor I have been through just about every illness with children and this is just my advice that I hope you can benefit from.

Mari Tips:

• If your child has a temperature of 103.0 and higher, take them to the Doctor ASAP. If it’s after hours, your insurance probably has a Pediatric of Regular after hours care that you can go to. It’s normal for children to vomit or get a rash when they have a virus, the vomiting usually is a result of a barking cough and the rash is just another way for the virus to surface, sometimes your child can have no cold symptoms at all and still break out in a rash (usually on the torso, back, and neck). Watch it for a couple days and if it’s not better by the next day or paired with a high fever and soreness take him/her in immediately. Also call an advice nurse anytime you are unsure of symptoms, it’s a great way to get medical advice and also some reassurance.

• For coughs, I recently found a great vapor chest remedy that works wonders for children (and adults).  Get some coconut oil, as much as you think you might need, and put 3 drops of Eucalyptus oil and 2 drops Peppermint oil in and mix it thoroughly.  You can rub it on your child’s chest, whenever she is congested.  Works great.

• Keep a big pot of water with Sage, Peppermint and Lavender boiling and steaming throughout the day.  This will help to clear sinuses and congestion.

• Get a cool steam humidifier for your child’s room.  This helps to moisturize her sinuses and keep her as comfortable as possible at night while suffering from a bad cold and cough.

There’s a test I like to give the little ones I work with now and then starting from the time we begin to do art projects, usually around 1 or so. It’s called, The DAP (draw a person) test, it’s been used for many years now, although most professionals will give the test to children around the ages for 3-4, but I like to start earlier, usually asking the children to draw a smiley face, instead of a person (sort of like a toddler version).  It’s a very simple test, really, but it gives me so much valuable information about their cognitive development that I try to give it at least a couple times a month.

Today, Little B finally did it!!  She drew her first smiley face!!!

Before this smiley face, she would draw scribbles and say, “see my face!!”.  I would cheer and applaud her “face” asking her where the eyes and mouth were and she would either point to a random spot on the page or ignore my question all together.  But today, she pointed right to the eyes and said, “these are his eyes, his mouth, and hair!!”.  It was quite the epic moment, at 2, she draws her first smiley face!!!

It’s no secret that toddlers are quite possibly the most adorable things on the planet. Between their wide eyed curiosity, contagious giggles, random outburst, and incredible sense of adventures it’s hard to pin point just what makes them tick. I’m fortunate to be allowed into these little minds and I’d like to share some funny experiences with you!

It was little Sally’s first time at the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, she was about 16 months old at the time and had already had an incredible vocabulary and a broading intellect that was challenging at times to maneuver around with a toddler.

So we’re enjoying the exhibits and we venture downstairs where the aquarium is. Sally becomes obsessed with these weird translucent floating objects in one to the tanks.
She points to it, looks at me and says, “Iko (a nickname she used for me), what is it?”
I said, “It’s a jellyfish, Sally, they live in the ocean.”
She smiles, stares a little more and then moves on to the next animal.
Fast forward to later in the week and I ask Sally what she would like for lunch. She says, “Ummm peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich, please!”
I begin to laugh and Sally says, “What? What’s wrong?” My laugh then turns into hysterics, that this little one had generalized “jellyfish” to “jelly” and from then on she would only ask for peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches.

Every morning the first thing Little B’s parents and I do is make a cup of coffee. It’s a routine, one that she has seen since the day of her arrival. One day as I’m arriving for work, Little B’s Mother tells me to “Watch this!”. Her Mother asks her what the coffee machine is called, and little B (who was not even 1 yet) starts coughing. It takes me awhile, but then I get it. She had translated “coffee” to “cough” in her little mind. So every time we made and drank coffee she would point to it and start coughing.

It’s just so funny to see how little ones learn new words, and also how those new words are used by them. I have a stutter when I speak, and little Emily when she was about 2.5 noticed it one day and asked me why I spoke funny.
I explained to her the best I could by saying, “Well, sometimes the words get stuck in my mouth and it takes me longer to get them out.”
“Oh”, she says and goes on with her playing.
A few weeks later I’m with the girls again, and little Emily says outloud to everyone in the room (to her parents and I, after I had stuttered on a word), “Oh Mari, do you have a stick stuck in your throat again?!?!”
She got the gist of it…I think!! 🙂

Going from the cozy warm arms of Mom or Dad to a crib is a big change for your infant, but it’s one they quickly adapt to if done properly.

Mari tip:  I recommend buying a baby monitor with video capability. They can help eliminate the stress a parent/caretaker can feel during this process.  Also, there will be times when your baby is in distress, say for instance: they need to be burped; they’re caught between the railings of the crib; they need a diaper change; or if young enough they’ve prematurely rolled over and are unable to position back, a video monitor can help you to determine the difference between a distress and a protest cry.

I will always suggest to go with your gut too, if you feel your infant is crying a little too hard, it is ok to go into the room pick him up to comfort him, as long as you place him back in the crib to fall asleep on his own.

1.  Establish a regular bedtime routine. The goal is to establish a consistent and predictable routine to allow your child to fall into a calm state while regarding sleep time positively.  It can include any/all of the following: a bottle,  a warm bath, massage, reading books, singing a couple soft songs. Swaddle, kisses and loves, and put him down in his crib. Be sure to begin and end the process at the same time every night.

2.  Your child will most likely begin crying sometime between placing them in the crib and while you’re leaving their bedroom.  This is to be expected!  Give him about 5 minutes then go into his room. Do not make eye contact but touch his belly or stroke his head and say, “Mommy is still here, it’s night night time and time to sleep”, then quietly walk out of her room.  If he begins to protest again, wait another 5 minutes then repeat the above steps.  You want to allow your infant 5 minutes of crying time the first couple of days, then slowly begin to increase the time frame by 5 minutes.  For example:

• Day 1:  After routine and child is down, he begins to protest.  Wait 5 minutes, enter room and reassure your child then quietly leave; he soon begins to cry again, wait 5 minutes and repeat process; the first few days of sleep training are the most difficult, you will find yourself going into the room 4-6 times until your infant is asleep.
• Day 2-3:  Repeat same steps as Day 1.  At this time you might find yourself going in less or more, depending on how fast your child responds to their new routine.
• Day 4:  Repeat the same steps, but now allow for 10 minutes of protest before entering your child’s room.  At this time you might find your child is protesting more and even louder than before.  This is normal, it is called an extinction burst, which basically means that it gets worse before it gets better, and is also a good sign that your technique is working!
• Day 5:  Repeat same steps as Day 4, wait 15 minutes before entering room.
• Day 6:  Repeat same steps,  but now allow for 20 minutes of protest.
• Day 7:  Your child should be going down easier now on their own, if not continue the process of Day 6 for a couple more days.

In my experience it can take anywhere from 3-7 days before a child is fully sleep trained.   It just depends on how easily your child adapts to a new behavior.

Your child will experience changes in their sleep habits throughout their cognitive development, so allow for age appropriate changes and updates to your routine.  Always remember that consistency is key, and there will be a time when it sounds and feels so awful that you just can’t stand it, but remain confident in yourself and your child and you both will find success.  Sleep training is as much of an important tool for parents as it is for the infant; it fosters independence in your child and instills confidence in parenting.

I don’t know if I am alone in this but some of the funniest and weirdest moments of being a nanny have been would-be suitors and boyfriend’s reactions to what I do for a living. One told me I must be great with kids because I have “beautiful childbearing hips” (yep, he was dismissed). Another time while on a date with a banker he blurted out “You probably want to put a pillow over the mother’s face while she’s sleeping so you could take her place!”. So I’ve had a mixed bag of reactions, some cute, some not so cute, and some downright rude.

For me this is a pretty standard boy-meets-nanny scenario: I meet a great guy, things are going well- we’re talking up a storm and he asks, “So what do you do for living? Where do you work?”  I answer, “I’m a full-time nanny for a little girl”. The guy sorta starts wiggling, looks away from me, and kinda nervously chuckles, “oh that’s great, so you like kids…so uh, what exactly do you do?”

WHAT DOES HE MEAN what do I do?  I JUST told him!! It’s almost as if when I make the statement, “I’m a full time nanny for a little girl” they hear this:

“—–crickets chirping——-more chirping—–still chirping—-”

I don’t know if they think being a nanny isn’t a real job, or they are so uncomfortable they don’t know what to say, but this happens all the time.

The worst is when I’m dating someone and he asks about my day.  Now, if I take care of children for 50 hours a week, OF COURSE I’m going to start talking about kids and OF COURSE I’m going to talk about little B’s green snotty nose, or how Sarah had the flu and projectile vomited on me all day or the cutest thing that Olivia said.  Because my day is filled with crazy wonderful moments like that, which is standard procedure in childcare. But the guy usually complains at some point that all I talk about is kids. Maybe he’s a little weirded out that I sound like the would-be mother of his future children. So, here’s a thought for all the men dating nannies…don’t ask and they won’t tell you of their snotty, pukey, diaper filled day.

Then there are those times when I wish I had a shirt on that read: “Don’t worry, this is not MY child!” Like I’m in my car, I feel someone looking at me and he’s totally cute and gives me a big smile…so big that I can watch it fade in slow motion as his eyes inevitably scan over to the carseat in the back with the little hand waving at him. And I drive a Volvo too, which just drives the nail in that coffin.

But being a nanny does occasionally come in handy in the dating world, especially when that annoying guy won’t leave you alone. I usually whip out my cell phone and begin looking at all the pictures of the babies.  When he asks, “Which one is yours?”  I say, ”All of them.” 

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Children interpret things much differently than adults. What we might feel is encouragement, could feel quite the opposite for a child. The stage right before 2, when you child is no longer an infant, but not quite a “kid” yet can be difficult to maneuver around.

You see your child changing every day, learning new concepts and behaviors, failing and succeeding with every little thing they do. Sometimes we comfort them successfully when they are frustrated, but other times we can lose sight of their perspective by getting stuck in our own frustrations. A child will pick any time to follow their curiosity: during rush hour traffic; or at the grocery store at 5pm when the entire world is shopping; when you’re trying to make an appointment on time; or when your child stops to follow a bug flying around the yard…not always the most convenient time to stop and explain the mysteries of the world to a toddler, but in fact it is the best time.

For example: earlier today, Little B woke up late for her nap.  I was running around trying to get things packed and her dressed, when she discovered that she is fully capable of undressing and dressing herself.  At first I tried to hustle her around, but she protested quite loudly that she can in fact, “do it herself”.  So, I backed off, because even though I knew we were going to be late and probably miss swim class, the importance of this little one feeling the satisfaction of her completing her task was greater.  She was so proud of herself,and afterwards I realized that I was caught up in my daily tasks of “caring”, but not focused on the “child” and her own special tasks and needs.  A sense of autonomy is a wonderful feeling to have, and even our little ones need some now and then!

Catching a child right when they’re engaged with amazement is the best time to introduce new concepts and ideas. Children learn best through their own exploration nurtured through our guidance and acceptance of their expanding little minds. Even when the timing is not perfect; and even if you haven’t had the first cup of coffee, follow your child’s lead and you will provide them with an endless path of learning and awareness.

So, how do you encourage your children along without weakening their self esteem and confidence? I often hear parents using the terms “Big Kid” and “Baby” towards their child’s behaviors and emotions, this can be a positive encouragement if used correctly. I often stick to just using “Big Kid” when I’m explaining a new concept to a child, like if I’m going to take away their bottle or pacifier at 2, I might say something like, “Ok you’re going to be 2 in a couple weeks, that means you’re a big kid now and the bottles are going to go bye bye .” or “You dressed yourself, just like a big girl!!”. It’s important for me and the kids I work with to always use words and phrases that will encourage, not discourage a child. What I do stay away from, is referring to a child as a baby because they didn’t follow through with a command, didn’t show a behavior properly, or perhaps are having a whining fit.

Remembering that children learn through their failures.  When in that moment when they’ve just fallen down or can’t quite get that zipper all the way up and they express the frustrations out loud, if we tell them “Why are you crying? Are you a baby?” we have not only discouraged them, but have failed to provide them with a safe environment , one where they can express themselves freely and openly without fear of insult. Because, even we, the “big big kids”, still fail at times and we still express negative emotions so we shouldn’t expect anything less from our children.

A little one I worked with a few years ago, had a hard time learning to take her socks off.  She kept pulling up from the middle and would scream out in frustration when she couldn’t figure it out.  I told her to, “Stop, relax and try again” and then gave her an idea to pull from the back of her ankle.  She sorta slumped down still frustrated and pouting for me to do it, instead I walked away and gave her some space. A few minutes later, I peeked around the corner to see her pulling the back of her sock off from her ankle and eventually pulling  both her socks off. She squeeled with delight, “MARI!!! I DID IT!!”.  Giving her encouragement along with advice provided her with confidence she needed to not give up.  That’s the key, to teach our children to never give up!  The sock coming off her foot was not as important to me as the lesson to always keep trying was.

Again, it’s important to remember that even though crying, whining, screaming and fits are extremely stressful and frustrating for us, for your child it’s the only way they know to express themselves, to really be heard. So by responding with nurturing and calmness you will find these fits to happen less and less, allowing your child will thrive in an environment that supports both their success and failures.